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In Part 1 we talked
about building a better relationship by spending TIME
with people.
When you spend
time on anything you will see results. Have you ever
met this woman: she has a standing hair appointment
every week that she never misses, she wraps or covers
her hair every night, she styles, curls, coifs her hair
every morning, she won't get her hair wet in the rain
or pool ever - y'all know that woman! And, isn't her
hair simply beautiful every time you see her? She spends
time on her hair!
The same can hold
true for anything - big or small. Want a better golf
game, prettier nails, gourmet meals at home, or a beautiful
lawn? Spend time on that endeavor on a consistent basis,
and the results will come.
Well, relationships
are just a tiny bit different. Spending time is a starting
point. You can't just pick up a kid, sit in room with
them, and say, "Okay, buddy that was one hour.
Wow what a great relationship we have." You have
to work on your interaction techniques.
We are going to work
on Listening and Sharing. Listen is for the ladies--mostly.
Sharing is for the males -- usually. Of course you can decide
what techniques most apply to you.
LISTENING
My husband, John is a
great listener. I can talk non-stop for 30 minutes and he
won't interrupt me with questions or say one word. Once my
rant is over, he can recap what I've said. He can give advice
or offer problem-solving techniques. Sounds great, right?
It is great!
John is a natural listener
because he hates to talk! It's very easy for him to sit back
and absorb what is happening. If you are that kind of person
- skip down to the section on Sharing!!
Okay motor mouths, this
is for you. Spend time and. . . Zip it. Be Quiet. Bite your
tongue.
If you are listening,
you are not talking. You are not even thinking about what
you are going to say next. You are simply absorbing what is
being said or shared with you.
Right or wrong is not
a concern here. Jesus gets to judge, you get to listen. "Wherefore,
my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow
to speak, slow to wrath: . . . " (James 1:19 KJV).
SHARING
Now, if you are "slow
to speak" that is great for listening. To improve your
relationship with someone sharing is essential. It means taking
a risk and opening yourself up to someone. I know, I know;
it's scary.
When you are open you
are vulnerable.
When you are vulnerable
you can get hurt.
No one wants to get hurt.
Take it easy and realize
that this is a process. You will not just jump to the most
intimate things about yourself. Start with the small stuff.
What you like, what you're reading, your job - those things.
Move on to what you need, your desires and dreams. Give it
some time and realize once you get started talking and sharing,
it's easy to "get on a roll."
REMEMBER
JESUS
Jesus spent a lot of
time with his disciples. He worked on the relationship. He
ate and worshipped and healed and prayed and laughed with
them every day. Jesus was a great listener. How do we know?
His disciples came to him with questions about issues and
arguments all the time. You don't seek counsel from someone
who has not been a good listener in the past.
Jesus was great at sharing.
He told the disciples about his Father, his work and the Word.
Remember all of the parables that Jesus told? Well, the disciples
were there, too. They were with Jesus but were also a part
of the "crowds."
Jesus still is a good
listener. Have you spoken to Him lately? And, He still has
a lot to say. He would love to have a better relationship
with you.
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