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I
never get to see my friends. I wish I knew how to talk
to my teenager. My spouse and I are more like roommates.
I don't really know my brother/sister at all. I see
the same faces at church/work every week, but I really
don't connect with anyone.
Ever run those
statements through your head? I know I have. We all
could benefit from deeper relationships. We all want
to feel connected. You can! In just three short weeks
you can have a better relationship with _________________
(you fill in the blank).
This week you will
learn the most important thing it takes to have a better
relationship with anyone - TIME.
You must spend
time with someone to have a good relationship with them.
Take a minute and think about the relationship(s) you
want to improve. How much actual time are you spending
with that person? Be honest. If it is not a significant
amount each week, then you can be sure that your relationship
will suffer.
Below
are some PRACTICAL tips for improving relationships with different
people.
SPOUSE
This would seem like
a no-brainer since you live together. However, just passing
at breakfast, dinner or doctor's appointments won't cut it.
Good marriages are made on purpose.
- Take a few minutes
each day to hug and tell how your day went. Women talk a
lot (I know 'cause I'm one of them). For the men: tell where
you went to lunch and was it good, who is your favorite
person at work, who drives you crazy, what projects are
you working on, etc. Most married folks have this basic
trivia down. Do it everyday, no cheating, for one week.
- Every night of the
week, just before bedtime - Share something deep. Tell your
spouse what scares you, what was your best Christmas, how
do you feel about your parents, what do you want to be doing
at 50 or 70, when were you most embarrassed, what do you
want your spouse to help you accomplish. No judgment or
problem-solving - just listen.
- Order pizza one night
and leave the kids home. Go to a bowling alley, skating
rink or walking trail. Do something physical without the
kids. You can talk or not talk, just spend some time together.
Can you remember holding hands?
- Sit TOGETHER at church,
bible study. Share what you felt, liked, disliked.
- Be nice. Smile, open
doors, say please and thank you. Every day.
KIDS
This is so super easy!
Every day for one week ask your child these questions:
1. Who is your best
friend - this can change daily, weekly depending on the
kid.
2. What is your favorite color? If you had to eat the same
meal all week what would it be?
3. What is your favorite subject and why? What is the worse
and why?
4. What do you think about God, the stars, angles?
5. What is your favorite song, singer, video, game, movie,
sport?
6. Are girls/boys yucky, okay, calling you?
7. Do you know how much I love you?
This is the tricky part.
After they answer, you have to share something about yourself,
too. Example: Green is my favorite color all day everyday.
Except one day, I saw the sun setting driving home and orange
was my favorite color that day. You will be surprised what
a little interaction can do. BEWARE: Teenagers especially
hate this, but in three days you may learn more than you wanted
to know.
If you have really small
kids, just hang out with them. Watch a video, sing all the
songs you can remember, play tag, hide and seek, they will
love the extra attention.
PARENTS
& SIBLINGS
Okay, trust me this works.
Ask your parents the same questions you asked your kids! Just
one day. Wow! Who knew that your mom played basketball in
junior high school? You may just be amazed that your parents
love to chat with their grown kids about nothing but stuff.
You can also:
- Invite your parents
to church
- Send them a different
photo of your house, kids, spouse, dog every day (you can
do this once a week, too)
- Read a book, article.
Send it to your mom/dad. Discuss.
- Ask them about the
time you first learned to drive, had chicken pox
- Ask them what they
like to do.
And, just because you
grew up in the same house or shared a bedroom with a sibling,
you have different views of the same events. Share a story
and ask them how they remember it.
CO-WORKERS
& CHURCH MEMBERS
This will cost you a
little money, but it will be worth it if you want to have
a better relationship. Invite your co-worker to lunch everyday
for one week. Let them know in advance and be sure you are
being sincere.
This really should be
a co-worker -- someone of equal footing with you, not a boss
or subordinate. Then, do what comes naturally. Talk, dish
on the restaurants, listen and viola! A better relationship
is in the works.
For church members, Sunday
dinner. Who can resist a free meal? Of course, you may decide
to "go dutch" or invite them to your home.
GOD
- Read your Bible every
day. Even if it's one or two verses, see what God has to
say about every day issues. Use a concordance and search
by topics. What does God say about honesty, faithfulness,
sin, marriage, children and worship?
- Talk to God every
day about small decisions. Which way should you drive to
work? How can you be nice to someone? Who can you call just
to brighten their day?
- Say Thank-You. God
wants a better relationship with you, too.
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