|
Ahhh, the small
stuff -- like paper next to the garbage can that never
made it, jelly on the countertop, the bag of dog food
that never stays closed, toothpaste squeezed from the
middle (or bottom whichever bothers you), an empty carton
in the fridge and my husband's personal pet peeve--foil
left around the top of the crunchy peanut butter. You
mean you didn't get CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER?
The self-help books
on the shelves now are loaded with titles about not
sweating the small stuff, "Don't Sweat the Small
Stuff for Wives, Husbands, Kids, And Small Lizards"--you
name it, they've got it. Okay, I will confess that I
haven't read one of them. I can, however tell you the
big mistake in taking the small stuff way too personally.
The small stuff
piles up on you and becomes big stuff which then morphs
into character flaws. For example, the wet towels on
the floor, week after week becomes why-are-you-making-extra-work-for-me
and then morphs into you-are-a-lazy-slob. Next it's
if you loved me, you would pick up the wet towels--once!
Finally, it's obvious that you don't love me. Wow, all
that from wet towels.
But, you hate the wet
towels so what do you do?
Prioritize. In
the span of your entire life, how important are those wet
towels? Do you want dry towels in your casket? Do you need
a dry towel do experience eternity? Give your "small
stuff" its' proper place. Then you can focus on the one
or maybe two things that are essential: like the foil on the
peanut butter.
Do It Yourself. If there is something that is s-o-o-o important to you, do
it yourself. I appreciate the kids sorting the clean clothes
and putting them away. However, DO NOT FOLD MY TOWELS. In
"Evelyn's Personal Handbook for Life" there is a
certain way towels should be folded. Instead of fussin' and
cussin' about poorly folded towels every week, I fold the
towels myself. They are usually perfect. And, the weeks when
they stay in the basket because I just haven't gotten around
to it--all of a sudden properly folded towels are not an issue.
Choose Your Battles. If you do have one "thing" that bugs you to death,
then make that the ONE thing you insist upon. This means you
have to let all of the other stuff go. Breathe. Focus. Forget.
Forge Ahead! The special folks in your life can - and should
- accommodate one request gladly. Of course, that means they
get one thing too! I ALWAYS buy two peanut butters--one creamy,
one crunchy; and I don't open the crunchy unless I am willing
to remove all of the foil.
Don't Assassinate
Your Spouse's Character. Leaving the mail un-opened on
the counter for days at a time does not mean that your spouse
is lacking in discipline. They do get up and contribute to
the household or community and generally exist in this world;
therefore, they do have some discipline. Maybe just not in
the area that you feel it should show. Don't begin to think
and then speak that your spouse is lazy, uncaring, insensitive
and dishonest because some "things" may go undone
or not be done to your satisfaction.
Deal with the Big
Stuff. Finding yourself in a situation where all of the
small stuff drives you nuts may be an indicator that there
is a deeper issue that needs to be dealt with. The small stuff
is easy to talk about. Your spouse charging items behind your
back and blowing the budget will make ALL of the small stuff
they do seem impossible to deal with because there is a bigger
issue that is really bugging you. Sit down and figure out
what the "real" issue is. Talk about it. Pray about
it. Get counseling. Whatever you do, resolve the big issue
and the small stuff will be just that--small stuff.
|
Free
E-zine Sign Up
